| 
July 28, 2008 | By: Reess Kennedy
Why I Like Television Narcissists. And You Should Too.
An exploration of the word narcissist and how it can affect Cable ratings.
The New York Times published an article last week by Jan Hoffman exploring the source, meaning and growth in usage of the word narcissist. Despite the efforts of the author, I still think there’s a lot of gray matter surrounding what this word means. What became clear to me after reading the article, however — and I’ve actually thought about this in the past — is that I like a lot of borderline narcissists. And heck, narcissists make great television! In-fact, a degree of narcissim is almost a prerequisite for television time. From finance gurus on CNBC, to fashion know-it-alls on TLC, house-flippers on Bravo and fictional plastic surgeons on FX, narcissists intrigue us and dominate cable ratings. Truth is: We’re entranced by abundant, overflowing ego and these people have enough for the whole family.
Yes, Simon Cowell, one of the great narcissists of our time, gets booed for calling a performance “atrocious” but where would the show be if Cowell were a cowardly milquetoast man? To keep it to Cable we need look no further than our man Jeff Lewis of Bravo’s Flippin’ Out — a great narcissist whose amazing ego running rampant is completely responsible for the success of the show.
To an extent it seems narcissism has become a formula in-and-of-itself. More and more I hear about the vital importance of strong personalities and character-driven shows. But what makes someone a really strong personality or character? For the most part, it’s people who have a stance on something. People who vehemently believe in something and fight hard to protect it. Whether it’s food, fashion or talent-related programming, show hosts and personalities know exactly what they like and don’t hesitate to make their preferences known. People don’t want to see self-effacing characters who don’t have a clear position on anything. There’s nothing identifiable about this person. In the land of TV, these people are anonymous. Television diplomats are soon forgotten.
No, the people we watch on television are a different breed. Narcissistic? Maybe. But it’s their ego and confidence that allows them to take a stand, advance their position and pull drama from everything … these are the people we want to watch. These are the people whose approval means the most when they give it. These are the people who are captivating.
The question I ask myself is whether I should be concerned about the way I am attracted to and even admire people with big egos. More broadly, the question is: Should we be concerned by the growth and glorification of the narcissist on television? I guess in order to know this, we have to be clear on how the word is defined. The New York Times piece pulled the following definition of the word from a clinical diagnosis manual: “pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration and lack of empathy.”
Based on this definition, I’ve decided there are two different levels of narcissim we see on television. There’s the talentless, celeb-reality-star-famous-for-nothing narcissist à la Hilton and Kardashian. These narcissists are, indeed, grandiose in fantasy and behavior, are needy for attention and admiration and, to the extent that they are disconnected from reality, have lost their ability to empathize. Indeed, we could all probably do without the glorification of these individuals.
But then there is another crop of narcissistic television personalities. These are people who are passionate in some way. Their passion is what has led them to take risks, achieve significant things and serve as amazing on-air personalities. Yes, they may be grandiose. Yes, they may like and feed off the admiration of their audience and again, to the extent that they are celebrities, they may lose touch from time to time, but I like watching passionate people. I like people with real ideas who aren’t afraid to state them. To me, these are strong personalities.
So with this second strata of television narcissists, I’ll take my chances, separate the wheat from the chaff, recognizing that no one’s perfect and continue to admire them for their passions and strengths.
And when they go too far, become drunk on their stardom and achievement, it’s also really funny. Check out this short Q & A with the Donald from the NY Times magazine blog.
You think he could mention his name one more time in that interview?
Read past entries by Reess Kennedy
|
Elizabeth said,
July 29, 2008 @ 9:43 am
“Television diplomats are soon forgotten.” You’re totally right, unless, of course, that diplomat is a Paula Abdul-esque DIPlomat!
[Reply]
Marie-Catherine Janssen said,
July 29, 2008 @ 9:58 am
I definitely agree that there are plenty of narcissists on TV, but honestly no one has to look very far around them in order to find some. So you think you can turn off the TV and be rid of these attention craving, egotistic, selfish, delirious people, who believe they are entitled to be the center of everyone’s world, but you’re wrong! They occupy everyday life and I believe we should put them all on an island so we’ll finally have peace and quiet. If anyone is interested in such an experiment, I will gladly volunteer my future mother-in-law. (Oops! Did I write that out loud?) As to the narcissists on TV, I believe they will exist until the day (many channels from now) the viewers change their priorities and finally decide to focus on more important things. So for example, then CNN may actually post more stories on the war than about Paris Hilton’s latest stunts. Until then, they will make tons of money off of us and I’m not convinced that it is actually helping the economy.
[Reply]
Reess Kennedy said,
July 29, 2008 @ 10:18 am
Marie: Yeah, “Narcissist Island” — there’s a good show idea. Maybe a little ahead of it’s time. But my point is that I actually like these guys. We need to keep them here in the wild.
Liz: You’re right too. TV diplomats aren’t always forgotten and raging narcissism isn’t the sole criteria for television success — like Sabrina mentioned re: Anthony Bourdain, his self-deprecation makes him a likable, memorable personality.
But what I was trying to get at is that any of the people mentioned and pictured above — and many others — completely carry their shows with their narcissism. The strength of their radical personality is the whole show. It’s magnetic in a unique way.
[Reply]
Elizabeth said,
July 29, 2008 @ 2:04 pm
I think there’s a clear difference between narcissism and being direct/sure of yourself. I don’t find Simon Cowell particularly narcissistic (at least not on AMERICAN IDOL, I certainly don’t know him personally!) He speaks his mind, concisely and directly, and isn’t afraid to voice his opinion – the same traits as a strong leader. And why would television want to settle for any less than as strong a leader as possible in the captain’s seat of their program?
Now Donald Trump, that’s another story.
[Reply]
Vicki Wagner said,
July 29, 2008 @ 2:16 pm
The article is dead on. No one will sit around watching a boring person sitting there doing nothing. Actors are famous for reading other people’s words and bringing them to life because they are not usually interesting in and of themselves. Had they not been reading someone else’s work, they probably would have never stood out on their own.
As for reality, I have an online talk show; when we cast the show we are looking for big personalities because frankly, you need them to keep viewers. We have people fill out a questionnaire and on it, it says, “Can you come to life in front of the camera? Do you have something to say? Will you be engaging?” Of course they all say yes and then leave some BS about why they are and then as soon as they get to the set, they are the most lifeless uninteresting people you would ever want to meet. They absolutely suck on camera. They waste our time and money. We need to shoot 5 times as many episodes than we air to make up for these dull people. That is why the producers of reality have kept to a system.
Forget looking for various interesting people. Look for one interesting person and viewers will tune in. In reality, either the show has to be driven by the host, ie, Dr. Phil, or the guests have to be the focus, ie. Jerry Springer. SOMEONE on the show must be worth watching, otherwise- BLIP- they just changed the station.
Vicki Wagner
Host of Lesbian Knows Best
[Reply]
Sabrina Toledo said,
July 29, 2008 @ 5:31 pm
it’s true that as soon as a TV personality rises to a certain level of stardom, they are usually labeled a narcissist or egomaniac. But just because someone is opinionated and strong in their position doesn’t mean they believe it’s all about them. We might, and that’s great for their career, but there is a difference. Look at Martha Stewart: she’s a class A expert at what she does and rose to the top because of it. I feel like a bumbling fool when I have to get my house in order for guests to come over. It takes me a week to prepare for three people to come over for drinks. She makes it look so effortless, turning a dining table into a 5-star restaurant setting by only using some twigs from her backyard and ribbons left over from Christmas. And that’s not saying anything about her canapés… But my point is that while people might label her negatively (her current and former employees notwithstanding) it probably has more to do with our own feelings of inferiority than with her sandbox skills.
I’d also like to say that I LOVE watching a good narcissist go to the extreme on TV. Paula Abdul, I miss you and your 36-hour no-sleep marathons of assistant abuse and interview fumbles. Jeff Lewis on Bravo’s FLIPPING OUT tells his employees at what temperature they should deliver him his Starbucks latte – it’s “The Devil Wears Prada” meets “House Hunters”.
[Reply]
robert lombardo said,
July 29, 2008 @ 11:48 pm
I need to check first: are men allowed to comment on this post?
I noticed that you created a second crop of narcissistic television personalities that “are strong personalities” – but you did not name any names. My point exactly.
donald trump: has a dumber man ever gone further?
[Reply]
Elizabeth said,
July 30, 2008 @ 8:48 am
Robert, they’re the lovely women commenting on this post!
[Reply]
Doug said,
July 30, 2008 @ 9:18 am
As a narcissist, I’d point to a ‘lack of empathy’ as a personality trait not to be excluded from your analysis – not that you’d give a damn
[Reply]
marion said,
July 30, 2008 @ 10:04 am
Let’s be clear….the reason we like to have the televised narcissist in our living room is because we can either turn them off when they get too annoying or, (preferably) mock them when they are right in front of us. Not so true with the real-life variety.
[Reply]
Mark said,
August 8, 2008 @ 12:43 pm
Great article, Reess. But I’d like to throw a possible monkey-wrench into the works…What if these “famous narcissists are actually just ACTING? Is it possible that so-called “reality TV” has pervaded so much of our TV lives and culture that we have forgotten that it’s really just entertainment?
I look no further than shows like AMERICAN CHOPPER and THE OSBOURNES (and the myriad fo knowck-off of these formats). Would the Tuttles REALLY take two days off of work to go buy beat up clunkers to stage a “mock demolition derby” if the cameras weren’t there? No chance. Examples are so abundant in THE OSBOURNES that it seems like the only thing that was REAL in that show were the dogs pooping (can I say that) all of the house–everything else was staged/set-up/suggested/encouraged by the producers solely for entertainment purposes.
And while I’ve never seen “FLIPPING OUT,” from the promos, I get it. It’s a guy who yells and screams at everyone and acts like a crazed egomaniac and insists on getting what he wants. Are we to beleive that he is REALLY like that to EVERYONE he meets in real life? I guess it’s possible, but I think it’s far more likely that his personality has been blown WAY out of proportion for–here it comes–ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES! Just because we call it “reality TV” doesn’t make it any more real than an episode of “Desperate Housewives.” The people shown in these shows are really just playing a character (caricature) of themselves acting in made up situations for our entertainment. I’ve met OMAROSA before and she’s a very nice, soft-spoken and intelligent woman. But she’s made a career (albeit short-lived) out of playing the “BITCH” caricature that she created in the first season of THE APPRENTICE.
Now, if you want to talk about true narcisissts, don’t get me started on NANCY GRACE!
[Reply]
Laura said,
January 24, 2009 @ 4:13 pm
to Elizabeth
I can’t believe anyone would not find Simon Cowell narcissistic…oh my GOSH! The man has no feelings toward anyone he criticizes and then mocks them if they cry when he hurts their feelings! Would he have to throw daggers at them to make him be more of a narcissist?
He also said on an AI episode last year or the one before, he didn’t understand the American Custom of rejoicing when someone wins, caring about people…it’s rather different.”
I think even his kindnesses may stem from his desire of an “image”
just my views and I could be totally wrong, but I can only go on perception
[Reply]